Couples Therapy

While no relationship promises happiness,  they always have something to teach us.  They are the mirror we hold up, even though at times we would rather look away.  But amazing things happen when we start to see ourselves more clearly in the relationship.  Things soften and loosen up.  We can start to peer out from behind our walls and risk getting to know our partner better.  Maybe some of the things that drove us crazy don’t seem so bad any more.  Or we start to tolerate conflict a bit better, trusting that there’s a way through. 

I help you hold the mirror up to your relationship and to yourselves.  I open a space where you can take the risk to say things that might otherwise feel too dangerous,  where you can feel safe enough to be seen and known.  I help you discover where your unique histories intersect, sometimes creating growth and sometimes constricting you.  I support and guide you in the delicate work of healing from betrayals, or finding each other again after long periods of distance.   None of this is easy and it takes time, patience and courage.  But I have seen couples discover resilient love and connection underneath layers of conflict and disconnection,  much like finding gold in your own backyard.  We’ll dig together.

My work is not limited to couples whose goal is to stay together.  I help people navigate the difficult question  of whether to stay together or split apart.  I also work with couples in co-parenting after separation and divorce 

I work extensively with the LGBTQ community and support people who choose  non-traditional forms of relationship such as ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.